School starts soon. Fix their routine
Their alarm clock shouldn't be their phone.
Two bells and a hammer. Zero distractions.
- No app
- No screen
- No subscription
- 30-day guarantee
The phone has one job. It doesn't do it.
Their phone sits there beside them all night because it's the alarm.
It's not the alarm. You're the alarm. You're the one in the doorway at 7:10, saying GET UP.
Take the phone, get the clock, and watch them get up on time.
It was never about discipline. It was the alarm.
5 things that don't get a teenager out of bed. And the one that does.
You've probably tried three of them.
More alarms on the phone
They set six. They snoozed six. Same thumb, same swipe, four hundred times already.
A seventh isn't a plan.
Taking the phone away
“I need it for my alarm.”
And they're right. That's why it went back. That's why you've now lost the argument twice.
Shouting to their room
It works. Every morning. Forever.
That's not a fix. That's a job — and you're the one doing it.
A lockbox
Same excuse. Same argument. Now with a key.
And the alarm's locked in the box.
A sunrise clock
An app. A screen. A login. A thing to charge.
You're solving a phone problem with a phone.
Take the alarm job away
Give the job to a clock that can't do anything else.
No confiscation. No speech. Nothing left to argue about.
Get the clock — $39.99 →You don't take anything away. You hand the job over.
It goes on the nightstand
Set the time. Set the alarm. Done. No wifi password, no app, no settings menu they can quietly undo at one in the morning.
The phone goes in a different room
Nothing left to argue about — the thing it claimed to be for is now four feet from their head.
Two weeks into school
You get up. They're already in the kitchen.
You didn't have to wake them.
You haven't said anything in almost a week now.
The alarm took your job, so you sleep in.
Goes up to $54.99 on August 1
- Mint Green
- 1 AA, not included
Don't take our word for it. We're a clock.
Dr. Shalini Paruthi, via CNN
A sleep doctor makes the same point in CNN: stop using the phone as the alarm and it gets much easier to get it out of the bedroom — which cuts distraction and putting sleep off.
Johns Hopkins Medicine
Johns Hopkins tells parents to keep tech out of the bedroom, and warns that a summer schedule that slides a long way is much harder to pull back in September.
American Academy of Sleep Medicine
The AASM says 13 to 18 year olds need eight to ten hours, and to shift back gradually — about fifteen minutes earlier a night, not one brutal Sunday.
We're not doctors. This isn't sleep advice.
Sources: CNN · Johns Hopkins Medicine · AASM
The 2 a.m. questions.
They sleep through everything.
Maybe this too, some mornings.
But sleep through a phone and you wake up in a feed. Sleep through this and you're just asleep, next to a bell that's still going.
They'll hate it.
Probably. That's the point — it isn't for them. It's for every morning after this one.
What if I need to reach them at night?
This doesn't solve that. Where the phone sleeps is your call.
Do I need an app?
No. There isn't one.
What if it's not for us?
30 days, any reason. You don't have to explain yourself and we won't ask you to.
The one thing we won't leave until step two: you cover the postage back to us. There's no prepaid label. The 30 days are unconditional — the return trip is on you.
Not buying today?
We'll email you once, before the price goes up on August 1. That's the only one you'll get.